That song I wrote with Kelvin. Watashino tomodachi, sayonara.
He drifts across dreams On a bed of clouds And passes right by The ones he loves They call out to him But he can't hear a thing Instead he keeps on Dreaming
Well, I guess I'd rather be the kind that knew What to do When I don't have you
They can hear him speaking Crying tears of pain Hearts will break Standing in the pouring rain "Don't grieve, don't cry I will always be there" "And I know, I know You're right next to me.
"Loved the way you smiled Loved the way you laughed Knowing that you've gone Left this place without a trace" "When I saw you weeping It brought tears to my own eyes" "How my heart sang for you"
And these memories are full of things we do (of me and you) I can't pretend that they were never there
They can hear him speaking Crying tears of pain Hearts will break Standing in the pouring rain "Don't grieve, don't cry I will always be there" "And I know, I know You're right next to me.
Night and day, I wait for your voice But all I hear Is the empty sound of a void One moment you're here Can't hold on to Something that's no longer there No longer there
They can hear him speaking Crying tears of pain Hearts will break Standing in the pouring rain "Just want you to know that you'll never be alone" "I know, You're right next to me."
I don't spend my days working 9-to-5 jobs behind a computer. I don't spend my days worrying about what might happen tomorrow like everyone else does. In fact, I don't even spend my days doing things a normal person would.
Unlike you, I am constantly standing on the edge of the highest peak; forever trying to balance myself between the throes of life and death; between mortality and immortality.
Why, you ask?
Well, that's my job. It's what I would call, a perk of the trade. Knowing that there's always a new adventure, a new story to tell whenever I take on an assignment.
Who am I?
I believe that the question should really be, what am I?
*******************
It is raining.
I am sitting in a restaurant in Shinjuku, Tokyo with my headphones blaring the latest track from a popular local band. I take them off and glance at the piece of paper in my hand that would decide the fate of another individual forever.
Hanamoto Miaka. 22 years-old. Waitress at a café. Orphaned at the age of 15. Fiancé passed away last year in a car crash. Currently living alone. No known relatives.
I sigh and turn towards the midnight-black Labrador that always accompanies me during my jobs.
Will you proceed?
"I don't know. Maybe."
You're going to have a make a choice sometime soon, you know?
I look towards the sky, close my eyes and listen to the steady pitter-patter of raindrops crashing into the hard concrete.
"I know."
Three days to decide.
*******************
The feeling of loneliness has always been something familiar to Hanamoto Miaka. The bitter, metallic tang of desolation that she has become so accustomed to, permanently attached to the roof of her mouth. Having had to deal with the deaths of the ones closest to her for most of her life has turned her into little more than a walking zombie, quite literally what people would call one of the living dead.
Stepping out of the café where she worked, Miaka drew her coat closer to her and opened the umbrella that she always brought along for days just like this.
"Raining again," she sighed to herself as she slowly made her way to the train station.
The rain has never been comforting to her. It nearly always rained every time something bad happened to her. Like the day her parents funeral was held. Or even the day when her beloved was found, bleeding to death after a car collided with his motorcycle.
Most of all, she remembered how it rained when she attempted to join them. The pale scars that marked the inside of her wrists were a faint reminder of how close she came to it, before her housekeeper found her drenched in her own blood in the bathroom, crimson red staining the white marble tiles. Since then, the floor had been restored to its former state, but all Miaka could see was the pure white forever tainted by the scarlet manifestation of her sins every time she stepped into the bathroom.
That was more than 6 months ago and Miaka had somehow managed to slip back into the old routine of her life, slowly adjusting to the silence that had now filled the void in her life.
"Excuse me?" A deep voice breaks Miaka out of her daydream and she turns to find a tall, well-dressed man with familiar looking book in his hand.
"Oh! That's mine," Miaka immediately recognizes her precious notebook, filled with her innermost thoughts and reaches out to take it from the man, "Thank you...."
"You have a wonderful way with words," he says, giving her a stunning smile, "I'm Koehi, by the way," still smiling as he extended his hand out to Miaka.
"Erm... I - I'm Miaka," Miaka stuttered, blushing as she took Koehi's hand, "Y - You read it?"
"Just a few lines," he says cheekily, that beautiful smile still plastered on his face.
It is only now that Miaka realizes how good-looking the man really is, with well-chiseled features and lightly messy dark hair that somehow managed to accentuate his already attractive face. Miaka also noticed how tall he was, standing a good head taller than her, his smile sending a lovely warmth down her spine. But what she noticed most about him, were his eyes. Those were the eyes of a man who had seen too much. Dark obsidian, with a depth to them that looked as though he could gaze into her very soul, analyzing her very being inside and out.
Translation: Crying Don't try to comfort a pitiful person like me. Just let me go. Yeah, don't wait for a miserable person like me. You have to hate me
Don't cry Just think that I'm dead forever Leave in that way~ Crying I won't return to you again. Its over. So now Don't cry
Crying I think I'll go crazy You're crying alone but
Don't cry You're starting again for my sake You shouldn't cry like me If we ever meet by chance in the far future, I want you to turn away
Don't cry I wont return to you again. Its over. Crying Don't cry Don't cry
God, the original lyrics are so depressing. I actually came up with the so-called "English" version of it even before I read the translation like ... 2 seconds ago. The only words I could understand were "yongwonhi", "don't cry", "crying" and at times, I didn't even know when he said "don't cry" because it sounded like "crying". Woo boy.
BTW, I TOTALLY HATE WHAT I WROTE. SONG WRITING SKILLS = WIP KTHX.
Crying, my heart is breaking I just can't live, I feel so weak Why did you go? Lonely. I feel so lonely I don't really know how to deal without you
Oh, crying. it's all I can do I just can't breathe I don't know why you would leave Crying, all I see is you amidst the pain It's like I can hear you saying, "Don't cry."
Crying, I'm going crazy from all of this Oh, how I miss when you were still here
Oh, crying. these tears so pure "Oh, is there no other cure for a broken heart?" I pray
Crying, my heart out for you left me too soon It's like my world's turned so gray
"Don't cry, love," I still hear you inside my dreams I feel you standing next to me "Don't cry, love." "Don't cry."
The original Mandarin lyrics were rather ... despondent in a sense, since it spoke of heartbreak and a lover moving on. Initially, I wanted to follow the original theme, but the more I listened to it, the more I thought, "Wow. This could be a really romantic love song." and so my version of it came to being.
It's common knowledge that I'm absolutely horrible at composing my own melodies, therefore I have to refer a certain song in order to be able to write. I know the lyrics are incredibly generic, but hey. It's a start. Perhaps it might evolve into something more, you never know. (:
Might or might not be edited. I actually hate the fact that I used the word "love" so much ... I need to find substitutes.
Looking back, I remember the first time we met Laughing like we weren't just day-old friends A time I just can't forget
Oh, gazing into your eyes I see the love within your heart, how it sings to me it seems as though you're the only one here
Oh, I love you I just can't seem to get you off my mind Oh, Lord knows how I can live without the warmth of you next to me Oh, I can see us being together till the end of time Oh, my heart belongs to you Forever yours, baby please know that it's true.
The days we spent Holding hands as we watched the sun set Together laying under starry skies Moments filled with bliss
So this is what love really is
I love you I just can't seem to get you off my mind Oh, my heart belongs to you Forever yours, baby please know that it's true
Oh, I love you I just can't seem to get you off my mind Oh, Lord knows how I can live without the warmth of you next to me Oh, I can see us being together till the end of time Oh, my heart belongs to you Baby, please know that it's true
Oh, my heart belongs to you Please let me be the one who holds yours too
The sad look in her eyes, with crystal-like tears trailing down her beautiful cheeks, the bitter taste in my mouth as she turned to leave, the hard lump in my throat as I grabbed her by the hand and asked her, no, begged and pleaded with her to stay.
Then, she turned. And I remember the thing that hurt the most. The two words that changed everything that I knew.
"It's over."
I let go of her hand, my heart crumbling as I watched the best thing that had ever happened to me walk away. A rush of emotions washes over me. It hits me like a deer caught in the headlights. Like a shot to the head and a punch to the gut.
I watch her as her figure slowly faded away from view and I finally realize something. Like a rude awakening that I have been eluding for years, that finally caught up with me as my very life made a sudden standstill.
I am now alone.
And boy, does it hurt like hell.
*******************
I can feel her on my skin I can taste her on my tongue She’s the sweetest taste of sin The more I get the more I want She wants to own me Come closer. - Ne-Yo “Closer”
Flashing neon lights like lasers cutting through bodies on the dance floor. Writhing, swaying, grinding up against one another as rhythmic beats spilled out of giant speakers, contrived from a variety of tracks mixed by a DJ, safely elevated upon a platform of sound. Far away from the heat. Far away from the discomfort of the hungry crowd as they begged for more. The alcohol. Blue flames lighting up under transparent glasses, inebriating the sad, shaking being who took a chance and dived into the drink of the devil head on. A close brush with hell and heaven on earth as sinful beings continue shooting liquid demons down their raw throats, searing it, setting it aflame albeit momentarily.
The thumping bass line continues to enervate the horde of beings as they succumb further to their own desires. A scantily dressed girl walks towards me as I sit at the bar downing yet another alcoholic concoction which name escapes me. I recognized her as yet another one of those people who had a devil-may-care attitude about what the consequences were, as long as they had a good time and suckered someone else into doing the same.
Another one of those temptations of the flesh.
As she drew closer, her alabaster skin appeared all the more translucent in the dimly lit room, further accentuated by ebony curls cascading over her shoulders. I also notice the sharp, defined features of her face, the high bridge of her nose, the feline quality of her kohl-rimmed green eyes, ruby-red lips slightly parted. The very epitome of a classic beauty, I think to myself. Or maybe it's just the alcohol talking.
The next thing I know, she's grabbing me by the back of my neck and enveloping me in her scent. I breathe in the sweet aroma of jasmine and vanilla as the taste of her ravages my senses. Her hands grasping my face, we devour each other as though it were our last day on earth, igniting a passion within me that has been missing for far too long.
I smile to myself and welcome it. I embrace it like an old friend as I allow myself to be drawn further into the dark temptation of sin to an unfathomable depth.
The funny thing is, I didn't even try to escape it.
In fact, I reveled in the idea. I rejoiced.
*******************
I awaken with an intense, throbbing pain pulsating through my temples. Ignoring it, I throw the covers over my head as I attempt to escape the harsh light that is now spilling onto the wooden floor of my bedroom, illuminating it like a torch.
Rubbing the sleep out of my eyes, I carefully roll out of bed, attempting to tenderly massage the pain that burned within my head away.
